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But At Home, He’s a Lover
We went to the vet this morning… my body still hurts. We left the house intact. The vet pored over every inch of both Maybe and Brick for their semiannual wellness check. Things were going well, we talked about Maybe – if not more mobile, definitely happier now that she’s back on carprofen. We talked about Brick’s rumbly belly, exploding butt…
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Patent Pending: The Bee-Have
Ever have a dream where you develop a multi-million-dollar idea and you can’t wake up because you need to make it a success? It started in Joann. I was at the cutting counter, and someone set their kid down to run the store. It was modeled like one of those old fabric shops — aisles of fabric, enormous cutting table…
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The Night I Became a Barroom Legend
“I wish I could’ve done that! That guy’s a menace!” the bartender said. He set a fresh bottle of ice-cold Coors Light in front of me, adding, “This one’s on me!” I said “thanks” and smiled awkwardly, sitting alone in the corner next to the popcorn machine, whose level never noticeably changed but always seemed to be popping. I wasn’t…
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1200 Pound Dog with a Funny Bone
When it comes to dares, I’m short on smarts …and shorter on skill.
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Little 7-11 on the Prairie
From my cranial archives, filed under “WTF just happened?!” I was on my way home from work and stopped at 7-11 to grab a pack of cigarettes. Yes, lung-blackening, life-shortening tobacco. To you, perhaps, that’s the “WTF,” but wait, it gets better. This was a long time ago. You, my emphysema free reader, may not understand, but just after horse…
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Dogs: From Couch to Campsite
Two months ago we made a half assed effort to test the dogs in the travel trailer. We only went 15 minutes from home, took two cars and I brought the dogs home to take a nap midday, we had full hookups… Overall, it was ok, Brick hated outside but we were content to leave him watching cartoons inside while…
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Lunch with a Ringwraith
For all of their lives I have used my midday work break to go home and let the dogs out. I have one hour to travel the 11 miles to Mordor and back, dodging feral Teslas on autopilot like they’re the orcs of Sauron. If I’m lucky, the goblins of Moria go right out to potty without tossing a sword…
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Ode to a Fridge
Was feeling a little blue… my first ever appliance purchase died. I was on a tight budget when I bought the house and had to look for coupons and sales to get through the list. Learned after the fact that Samsung is notoriously terrible, but I scored a deal at an outlet that made it worthwhile. For twelve years; Samsung…
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Parking Lot Theatre
At my place of employment, our suite is second from the end of a row of fourteen units. For months now I’ve been trying to avoid this Lexus SUV that insists on parking backwards. There is no reason for it. No, none! He always parks next to me—too close—and since he backs in, I’m always at risk of smacking his…
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