My boss is from Taiwan, he has been citizenized, a fact he is very proud of! He frequently calls me at random for an “English lesson” if he’s unsure of where to place the “s” or if someone has said something to him in “conversational English” that doesn’t make sense in the Chinese dictionary.  If he hears slang, he wants to understand it immediately so he can later use the phrase like a badge of his Americanism.

For many years he’d run through the office yelling “I must leak!” which, given that his marathon always led straight to the men’s room, one can assume he put his own spin on the classic male phrase “gotta take a leak.” I believe his wife put the kibosh on that one, haven’t heard it in a while.

A couple weeks ago he announced during a sales meeting he was going to the hospital to have a “thing” cut off his back. I said “I’ll burn Franklins for you.” With furrowed brow he said “what?!” I explained that if he were a Christian, I’d offer prayers. If he were Catholic, I’d “light a candle” but since he worships money, I’d make a sacrifice to his gods and burn Ben Franklins. He turned to talk to someone else leaving me hanging….

Fast forward a couple weeks, he called me at home and opens with “Sweetheart! thank you for burning the Franklin, it’s all good news!”  When I see that it’s the boss on caller ID I always go into a panic, lining up the grey cells with any pending issues, customer emails, requests for quotes – I am ready to answer any work-related question he might have.  I was not ready for that and replied with “what?”  He repeated himself and I still didn’t know what he was talking about so I had to say “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying” (sometimes noisy background + heavy accent, I just can’t mentally translate fast enough)

Still excited, maybe a little disappointed, he reminded me of the meeting those weeks ago when I said I’d burn the Franklins.  It hit me and I chuckled and told him since he left me hanging, never laughed at my joke, I’d forgotten about it, but of course I was happy to hear his good news!

He said “Wait, that’s not American slang?” I said “uh no, I made it up on the spo… oh god! did you repeat it? Did you tell other people about ‘burning Franklins?’”

With great enthusiasm he yelled “I DID! I thought it was American slang but nobody understood me!”

I laughed harder and said “no. no. please no. stop repeating it, that’s between you and me!”

He liked that and said “ok, this is a good joke, just between you and me”

He’s a good boss, but also keeps my life interesting.